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05 June 2009 @ 05:58 pm
Karin-centric short fic - Addiction  
Title: Addiction
Author: ishime
Disclaimer: Karin belongs to Kishimoto, not me.
Rating: R, I think - no real sex but mentions of it and other dark themes
Summary: PreHebi!Karin. You're walking ecstasy and you're addicted to being yourself. You know someday it'll be the death of you - you couldn't care less.
Warning:  Hi! Newbie here - both to the community and the english fandom. English isn't my native language and I don't have a beta. I used spell check but you still may find some strange wording or grammar mistakes. Please don't get offended, just tell me and I'll do my best to fix it.
Also, it's my first attempt at characterizing Karin. I'm not sure if it works with the entire canon. Any comment on that point would be very helpful.

You like them powerful, you like them dangerous. You enjoy the teeth piercing your skin and the void that's left in you afterwards. You don't mind the marks. They're proof - proof that they needed you, always did, always will, no matter how strong they are. Proof they could and have died without you. That's what makes you shiver. You like to think that you could make them beg and crawl in the mud whenever it pleases you, because they need you, so much, so much.
You've done it once or twice. It's better to remember it than to imagine, easier, and more exciting. It helps you to forget every time you've had to shut your mouth and to crawl yourself because they were too powerful and dangerous and not addicted yet. You could never bear to be treated like a worm - you would've done anything, anything to be in control again because you're addicted too. You never needed any of them, yet you need them to be moaning your name and kissing your feet so you can keep on living. You know it's a weakness, you knew it from the very beginning - hard not to, in your position - and it didn't change a thing. Maybe it's the counterpart of your skills, you don't know, you just can't remember a time when you were different.

You need to feel that you're in control - you can always manipulate them when forcing them to their knees on sheer strength isn't an option. You may look harmless and fragile, but you're not. You're a pool of chakra and they bite you to take some, and they think you're weak because you let them. You're not; there's a price for each bite, each mark on your once white and smooth skin and they all fail to realize that before it's too late. Being dangerous isn't always about destroying everything within a hundred mile radius. You'd think they would've learnt that after so many years under Orochimaru's control. That's the reason you despise them so much - they never, ever learn. They'd all seen other guys' behavior toward you change completely in a few weeks, and none of them ever thought they'd soon do the same after they'd touched you.
You're a girl and you look pretty, and to their dumb minds pretty is breakable. You snore whenever you see some jerk look down at you from the other side of the bars, because it's almost written on their face what they think of you. Bitch, ready to spread her legs to everyone if she can get anything from them, loudmouth, she's nothing without those cages. You've learned not to put on a fight each time they insult you. You file it somewhere in the back of your mind and keep it there until the next experiment comes for them. Kabuto-san likes his guinea pigs docile, and you're an expert in pushing them on their knees from pain without damaging the important parts.
That's what you've got for the freaks you've got in your jail. You won't spoil your skills on such trash.
You like your partners powerful, that's what makes the whole deal worth it. You pick them among Orochimaru's men, not the lab rats. They can't be members of the true elite either, because Orochimaru woudn't be happy if you took away some of his favorite pets from him, but they're strong enough to please you. You choose them, that's your privilege. Except from the few times Orochimaru demands that one of his pets bites you, you're free to take whoever you want among his not-so-favorite-anymore. You don't mind when he gives your body to one of his pets, either ; they're always the most powerful of your long list of kills, and they're much more dangerous. You can never be sure who and what's be given to whom before it ends. It makes you quiver with pleasure and excitement.
They shiver too, although not for the same reasons. You're what arouses them - your beautiful face, your scarred body and the strength you give them. You're their guilty pleasure, Orochimaru's better tool to tame them for as long as he needs them and to break and destroy them afterwards. You're addictive and addicted, you're the death of them and you know someday they'll be the death of you. Someday you'll choose the wrong partner and he'll lead you to your own death and you don't care a damn. This is what Orochimaru saw in you, the reason why he gave you your position. You wouldn't be so deadly if you weren't free to pick up and throw behind you as you please.
You're walking ecstasy and you're addicted to being yourself. You know someday it'll be the death of you - you couldn't care less.
You're addicted.